Sad truth of growing up

She used to be some quiet girl that loved and kept loving. Without a single drop of hatred.
Someone that found beauty in everyone and everything.
A girl so pure that she might as well think everyone else as pure as herself with no bad blood in their body.
Some girl that trusts without thinking. And accepting without judgment.
She used to be all of that. Maybe even more.
But somehow she’s gone.
As day turn into months, and months pass by, replacing by years,
She saw how this world truly functions.
The ugly truth that being consoled by her innocence all this year.
The sad reality of people in it.
So she makes a choice that she never thinks she needs to. Up until that moment.
She changes herself. To fit in.
Even though she doesn’t have to.
As she doesn’t need anyone’s validation to be ‘her’. Unfortunately, nobody told her that.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Another ‘me’

I don’t think I care much about how people view me. Appearance wise. How can I?
What’s the point?
If I myself doesn’t see who I like to see in me. Inner wise.
Those people will only be another ‘me’ anyway.
They will see what I see everyday in the mirror.
They will only be another additional set of my eyes.
Eyes that saw every little flaw I have.
Eyes that search for imperfections to hide.
Eyes that hold judgment for being who I am.
So isn’t it useless? To worry about what they might think when they see me?

While other people’s opinions do matter sometimes, it means nothing if my own opinion about myself has been clouded by all the insecurities I’ve been fighting with. And still am.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Miserable Life

Life is tough isn’t it?

Sometimes you can handle it just fine. Other times? Not so much.

Invited a lot of unwanted feelings and emotions.

Which makes you doubt what you are even doing.

Or worse, think that you have an unpleasant life that will never make you happy unlike others.

But do you know? That was never true.

Yes you might have a bad day every now and then. And yes you have to work harder to improve that and be the better version of yourself when that happens, but it doesn’t mean you have a miserable life. It just means what life is supposed to be.

Living life to the fullest doesn’t always have to be about all the big deal that happens to you, it can also be about embracing and appreciating all the smallest things that bring you joy.

If the smallest thing such as the thought of having coffee every morning makes you smile, or perhaps something like the sound of the rain can automatically soothe you, I definitely can guarantee you this ; you are already living a life you should be proud of.

Big moment was great when it came, but those small moments are what give life more meaning and make life worth living.

So please realize that. Your life never can be miserable. It is all about what you decide to think and believe. After all, our mind is a very powerful thing. It can either help you or destroy you. It’s all in your control. So choose wisely.

Sincerely me,

Az.Ra

No it’s not OK

You know how when we do something but we fail and someone will tell us ‘it doesn’t matter, you can try again tomorrow’ right?
In that situation, it is supposed to motivate us to never give up.
But do you think that mindset doesn’t have any negative impacts at all?
If you think so, you are totally mistaken.
Here I tell you what. For certain people, those words are up to no good. Do you know why? Because they might take it as an excuse to slack off. To not do the best they could. They will think ‘Oh, it’s okay. I can still do my best tomorrow’.
You get what I mean right?
True, tomorrow will always come whether you like it or not. But do you know for sure that you are still here to welcome it?

So here is some advice. If you want to do something, do the best you can. That might be the only chance you have.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Moving Forward

They ask how to move on,
He says doing this. She says doing that.
What do I have to say?
Forgive yourself.
Wanna know the reason as to why you are stuck in the past?
No. Not because of ‘it hurting too much’ bullsh*t.
And definitely not because of ‘ I’m too weak to face all of this right now’ nonsense either.
Neither is the ‘ healing take time’ concept that everyone seems to believe.
You are.
The reason you seem so oblivious is you. Yourself.
Unknowingly, you are blaming yourself right?
Wondering what you did wrong to subject yourself to such a heartbreak.
Or maybe even thinking that your imperfections are the cause of all the disasters that happen to you in your life.
Guess what honey? You are completely wrong!! They ain’t.
Life happens. It’s completely out of anyone’s control. Change your plan as you might, if the universe has another plan set for you, even if you don’t like that plan, it’s still gonna happen.
So how about start forgiving yourself. Forgive your imperfections. Forgive yourself for not being able to be who you dream yourself to be. Forgive yourself for not being able to achieve everyone’s expectations of you.
Let go of all the self blaming. Let go of all the self doubt. Just let go. Whatever that is holding you up from moving forward, let it go. And you might be surprised how good that makes you feel.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Reality of Love

Love.

They say love is joy.

They think love is happiness.

They told you love is supposed to be beautiful.

But does it really?

In a fairytale..maybe.
Yes, true love is something beautiful to experience. Something that is precious to being through.
But it does not always have to be.
When it hurting you, when it getting difficult,
Doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Because love itself is life.
So just like our life that is not always beautiful and dandy, so do love.
Sometimes you get hurt.
Other times you feel over the moon.
It is supposed to.
That’s how you learn. That’s how you grow.
That’s how the universe works. After all it is not up to us to decide what happens next. It’s out of human control.
So stop being afraid you might get hurt because of it. Instead, start to embrace it while you can.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Family

What common in family;
Saying something awful to the parents?
‘It’s not a big deal. They understand’
Doing something hurtful to our family member?
‘They will be fine. No worries’
Start a fight over something dumb?
‘No need to apologize. They will forgive us anyway’
This is where our mindset about family messes up big time I tell you.
We thought as a family member, we can do as we pleased and they will always accept us no matter what. But we completely forgot that they are still human beings. With feeling and emotion.
Being a ‘family’ doesn’t give us a free pass to treat them to our heart’s content. It only gives us a free ticket to love them unconditionally.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

You Doing Great

It’s hard isn’t it?
To live in a society that is always prejudiced and judgmental.
To always be conscious every two seconds of what they have in store for you when you make a mistake.
To take all the bad words that are being spat out from their mouth.
To see the hate in their eyes for you when they think you are doing something wrong.
As if they have a right to criticize and judge us for who we used to be.
As if they’ve perfect and haven’t done anything wrong in their life.
As if they’ve much better than anyone else.
It’s hard isn’t it?
I know. But keep going.
The reasons you exist in this world are not to please them or to meet their expectations. You are still breathing until now, not because of them. They don’t even have any significance in your life if you think about it. So keep going. Don’t give them a chance to make a choice for you. As long as you know who you are. Who you want to be. Or what you’re doing. I will say you have already achieved more than what they wish for.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Grateful Work Wonder

When you angry with your parent because they give you advice for your own good,
Somewhere in this world, someone that loses their parents wishes they still have one.

When you complain because your parent forget to bought your favourite food,
Somewhere in this world, someone has to fast all day because they don’t have food to eat at all.

When you think life don’t treat you fair just because you can’t get your dream car to show off unlike your friends,
Somewhere in this world, someone has to walk miles in the heat just to buy groceries.

And maybe when you stop counting what you don’t have and start appreciating what you already got, you will see how lucky you already are.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

It All About You

When they say ‘stay strong’, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.

When they say ‘be brave’, it doesn’t mean you’re a coward.

When they say ‘stay happy’, it doesn’t mean you’re depressed.

When they say ‘be nice’, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Every meaning behind their words doesn’t matter. What really matters is how you decide to translate it for yourself.

You can see it as a bad thing and you will see yourself in a negative light. Or you can view it in a positive way and feel good about yourself.

It’s all in our hands. That is what makes life better. You’re the boss. Your life. Your choice.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra