‘Her’. More than anything else

Under the moonlight,
Stood a girl in a ‘princess’ like dress.
Completely still as people keep their gaze on her.
So she started lowering her head in embarrassment.
While thinking to herself, ‘I know I don’t fit in no matter how I dress. How foolish I can be to think otherwise.’
And with that thought corrupting her head, she stays away from everyone in disappointment.
Little does she know,
Everyone looked in amazement.
Not in judgement.
Amazement on how brave she carries herself alone without so much effort.
Amazement on how breathtakingly shining she looks among the crowd even with all of her little flaws here and there.
And amazement on who she is as a person. As herself. No one else.
If only her head didn’t cloud with all of the invalidation she has towards herself.
She might see that she doesn’t need to ‘fit in’.
She just needs to only be ‘her’ more than anything else.

Sincerely me,

She thought…

In the middle of the days,
She thought she saw you shaking from the wind blowing,
Only to realize it’s not the coolness of the wind effecting you,
Instead it’s the coldness of the world itself.
In the darkness of the night,
She thought you blinking your eyes every two seconds to adjust your view,
Only later to find out,
darkness never your problem to deal with,
It’s the tears that are too stubborn to disappear.
And in the midst of everything,
She thought she lose you in the crowd,
Only to find you hiding in the corner.
Far away from everyone.
Too afraid to show yourself due to the cruelness of the people around.
But above all,
She thought you were strong enough to keep fighting.
Only to be proud later on.
Because she was right all along.

Sincerely me,

Reciprocation of Love

She say I love you. And he replied with I love you ‘too’.
So that a start. Of an ‘us’ for them.
Everything so right but yet it’s feel so wrong.
Like a normal couple, they have their up and down.
So she thought everything exactly how it’s supposed to be.
That why. She fight for him.
Each and every time.
He also fight. But instead FOR her, he fight WITH her.
Yet she still doesn’t realize the difference.
He treats her like sh*t. And she blame herself.
For not being ‘good’ enough.
When in reality, she never have to be good.
Because she was enough.
If only, she been with her real ‘person’.
Instead, she been trapped in unrealistic love,
that being show by unrealistic man,
that doesn’t know the real meaning of love.
How can him? when the word ‘I love you’ that he claim is only another word of reciprocation.

Sincerely me,

Sad truth of growing up

She used to be some quiet girl that love and keep loving. Without a single drop of hatred.
Someone that found beauty in everyone and everything.
A girl soo pure that she might as well think everyone else as pure as herself with no bad blood in their body.
Some girl that trusting without thinking. And accepting without judgment.
She used to be all of that. Maybe even more.
But somehow she’s gone.
As day turn into months, and months pass by, replacing by years,
She saw how this world truly function.
The ugly truth that being console by her innocent all this year.
The sad reality of people in it.
So she make a choice that she never think she need to. Up until that moment.
She changes herself. To fit in.
Eventho she doesn’t have to.
As she doesn’t need anyone validation to be ‘her‘. Unfortunately, nobody tell her that.

Sincerely me,

Another ‘me’

I don’t think i care much about how people view me. Appearance wise. How can I?
What the point?
If I myself doesn’t see who I like to see in me. Inner wise.
Those people will only be another ‘me’ anyway.
They will see what i see everyday in the mirror.
They will only be another additional set of my eyes.
Eyes that saw every little flaws i have.
Eyes that searching for imperfections to hide.
Eyes that hold judgment for being who i am.
So isn’t it useless? To worry about what they might think when they see me?

While other people opinion did matter sometimes, it’s mean nothing if my own opinion about myself has been cloud by all the insecurities i been fighting with. N still am.

Sincerely me,

Miserable Life

Life is tough isn’t it?
Sometime you can handle it just fine. Other time? Not so much.
Invited lot of unwanted feeling and emotion.
Which make you doubt what you even doing.
Or worse, think that you have unpleasant life that will never make you happy unlike others.
But do you know? That never true.
Yes you might having a bad day every now and then. And yes you have to work harder to improve that and be the better version of yourself when that happen, but it doesn’t mean you have a miserable life. It’s just mean, that what life supposed to be.
Living life to the fullest doesn’t always have to be about all the big deal that happen to you, it’s can also be about embracing and appreciate all the smallest things that brings you joys.
If the smallest thing such as the thought of having coffee every morning make you smile, or perhaps something like the sound of the rain can automatically soothing you, i definitely can guarantee you this ; you already living a life you should be proud of.
Big moment was great when it’s comes, but those small moment is what give life more meaning and make life worth living.
So please realize that. Your life never can be miserable. It all about what you decide to think and believe. After all our mind is a very powerful things. It can either help you or destroy you. It’s all in your control. So choose wisely.

Sincerely me,

Shame on you

I smile to everything you say.
I never disagree with your point.
I don’t usually say no to you.
So you think you fool me don’t you?
Funny. Because i never let my guard down to anyone ‘unimportant’ in my life.
I not an idiot.
And I definitely not innocent as you think I am.
I think you the one that being fool by the image I decided to the show to the world.
Shame on you.

Sincerely me,

Never a priority

Ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Like you doesn’t seem to get anything right.
And everything you did doesn’t really matter. Because at the end of the day, you will mess that up anyway.
So it keep nagging you everytime.
Stuck like that little pieces of gums under your shoes which you having difficulty to get rid of.
That probably because it’s really is. The self doubt i mean.
I think it will always stay with every one of us. Literally.
We obviously will never constantly feel that every second of the day. But it definitely will make an appearance every now and then.
So what I about to say might be helpful.
If we only give our attention to that gums only when it stuck and we try to get rid of, who say we can’t do the same when we feel all of that things about ourselves?
If the ‘struggle’ of removing the gums is the ONLY thing that requires our attention, that mean it’s never really a priority to us.
Likewise. If the self doubt only appear every now and then, and you only focus on it only at ‘that moment’, why you’re soo worry there’s something wrong with you? It’s really nothing to worry about. That feeling will comes and go as it’s please either we like it or not, but don’t give them power to corrupt your mind. The only thing you need to worry about is  HOW to avoid making them as your priority in life.

Sincerely me,


Selfish. Always view as a bad trait to have.
Question is,,
Does being selfish really unnecessary?
Honest speaking,
I don’t think so. Not entirely bad at least.
Certain things did required you to being selfish.
If it involved your own life, sometimes you just need to.
You can’t always put everyone first then put your own self aside.
Who say their life matter more than your own?
So, you don’t really need to feel guilty if you being selfish for your own good.
It doesn’t turn you into a bad guy.
For certain extend it still an OK.
Just in certain things tho.
Make sure you know where it start and where it need to end.
Remember. Everything has a limit.
But as long as it doesn’t really have any extreme affect for those around you, I say you’re good. No worries.

Sincerely me,


You think you’re confident enough. However when time comes and you have to facing your audience, you’re shaking.

You think you’re brave enough to face any challenges. But when what you fear the most come knocking, you start to hide away.

You think you’re patient enough to keep waiting. However when one by one people passing by, you start questioning why it took so long.

You think you’re happy enough with all of your achievement. But when you see others become more successful, you create another goal to achieve.

You think you’re intelligent enough to solve any problem. However when some issues arises for you to handle, you’re can’t find any solution to fix it.

You know what?you over think!!
So what you say if you just stop for a second and just live in the moment. Go with the flow and have faith that life will turn out the way it supposed to be. Not the way you want it to be.

Let life do their magic. Nothing can go wrong with it in the hand of fate.

Sincerely me,