They ask how to move on,
He say doing this. She say doing that.
What I have to say?
Wanna know the reason as why you stuck in the past?
No. Not because of ‘it hurting too much’ bullsh*t.
And definitely not because of ‘ I’m too weak to face all of this right now’ nonsense either.
Neither are ‘ heeling take time’ concept that everyone seem to believe.
The reason you seems so oblivious of is you. Yourself.
Unknowingly, you blaming yourself right?
Wondering what you did wrong to subject yourself to such a heartbreak.
Or maybe even thinking that your imperfections is the cause of all the disaster that happen to you in your life.
Guess what honey? You completely wrong!! They ain’t.
Life happen. It’s completely out of anyone control. Change your plan as you might, if universe have another plan set for you, even if you don’t like that plan, it’s still gonna happen.
So how about start forgiving yourself. Forgive your imperfections. Forgive yourself for not being able to be who you dream yourself to be. Forgive yourself for not being able to achieve everyone expectations of you.
Let go all the self blaming. Let go of all the self doubt. Just let go. Whatever that holding you up from moving forward, let it go. And you might be surprised how good that make you feel.
“Why you like this stuff!” or “Why you dislike that stuff?”
“Why you eating this!” or “Why you don’t eating that?”
“Why you wearing this!” or “Why you don’t wearing that?”
Do you think they were you or what?
You can’t expect people to like what you like and hate what you hate.
Get real here. They ain’t you. They’ve their own person. They can do whatever they want. No need to point it out if what they did didn’t tickle your fancy.
N not everything you thought need to being said aloud.
It might hard enough for them to struggle with their own choice. They don’t need you to add the pressure.
Stop being so full of yourself. Get over it.
We’re different for a reason.
Different doesn’t make us weird. Different make us whole. You can’t expect to complete a puzzle with the same piece every time do you?
They say love is joy.
They think love is happiness.
They told you love supposed to be beautiful.
But does it really?
Yes, true love is something beautiful to experiences. Something that precious to being through.
But it not always have to be.
When it hurting you, when it getting difficult,
Doesn’t meant it’s not real.
Because love itself is life.
So just like our life that not always beautiful and dandy, so do love.
Sometimes you getting hurt.
Others time you feel over the moon.
It supposed to.
That how you learn. That how you grow.
That how universe work. After all it not up to us to decide what happen next. Its out of human control.
So stop being afraid you might getting hurt because of it. Instead, start to embrace it while you can.
What common in family;
Saying something awful to the parents?
‘ It’s not a big deal. They understand ‘
Doing something hurtful to our family member?
‘ They will be fine. No worries ‘
Start a fight over something dumb?
‘ No need to apologize. They will forgive us anyway ‘
This is where our mindset about family mess up big time I tell you.
We thought as a family member, we can do as we pleased and they will always accept us no matter what. But we completely forgot that they still a human being. With feeling and emotion.
Being a ‘family’ doesn’t give us free pass to treat them as our heart content. It only give us free ticket to love them unconditionally.
It hard isn’t it?
To live in society that always being prejudice and judgmental.
To always being conscious every two second of what they have in store for you when you make a mistakes.
To take all the bad words that being spat out from their mouth.
To saw the hate in their eyes for you when they think you doing something wrong.
As if they have a right to criticize and judging us for who we used to be.
As if they’ve perfect and haven’t done anything wrong in their life.
As if they’ve much more better than anyone else.
It’s hard isn’t it?
I know. But keep going.
The reasons you exist in this world not to pleased them or to meet their expectations. You still breathing until now not because of them. They doesn’t even have any significant in your life if you think about it. So keep going. Don’t give them a chance to make a choice for you. As long as you know who you are. Who you want to be. Or what you’re doing. I will say you already achieved more than what they wish for.
Losing parent or anyone you truly love is miserable.
I wish nobody going through that heartache.
But we have to be realistic.
Sooner or later it going to happen to everyone.
It’s gonna happen to you. And it gonna happen to me. Again.
When that time comes around, i hope you know this.,
The heartache. The pain. It will never ceases.
What they said about ‘time heal everything’ ‘you going to be okay’ n stuff is one big fat lie.
No. Time doesn’t heal everything. Time just provide temporarily distraction.
And no. You not going to be okay. You just going to be strong.
Some days, yes. you going to be alright. You doesn’t feel pain as much .
That because you tend to forget about them since you just used to live your life without them.
So if you don’t remember them for a certain amount of time, don’t feel guilty. That just how you learn to cope with the pain. By forgetting. It’s doesn’t mean they’re vanished from you heart or your love for them have been disappear for good, because i can assure you it doesn’t. True love always remind.
N other times, you will remember everything and the pain become unbearable to handle.
Also stop being regretful because you feel like you not accepting your fate and move on. It’s not true. It’s has nothing to do with accepting reality, n everything to do with feeling and emotion. Which not in our control all the time.
Whatever it is, I hope you know that even if everything doesn’t feel perfect without them anymore, at the end of the day, you still gonna be alright because happiness still exist even in imperfection.
Maybe now you’re hurt. But nobody say tomorrow you won’t heal.
Maybe now you’re scared. But nobody say tomorrow you can’t be brave.
Maybe now you’re sad. But nobody say tomorrow you won’t find your happiness.
Maybe now you’re struggling. But nobody say tomorrow it can’t become much more easier.
Maybe now you’re alone. But nobody say tomorrow someone won’t appear in your life.
And maybe now what you really need to do is believe that everything will be alright when the time is right.
After all everything will be alright in the end. And if everything is not alright, it’s not the end.
I already used living my life without you in it that I never think you’re gone.
For some reason my mind keep thinking that you’re not here only at ‘this moment’s. Not ‘forever’.
I mess up didn’t I?
For foolishly thinking someday I will see you again.
Saying our last words for each other and stuff.
I probably am.
Sometimes I keep questioning myself.
Did I thinking like that to hide the pain of losing you or to hide the fact that I can’t accept my reality.
Either way I don’t think my train of thought will change anytime soon.
Because as much as I wish I can let you go. I don’t think I can. Ever.
After all I only got ONE Father in my lifetime.
And no man can top my love for you. That for sure.
They were scared of expectation so they shut you down, but you thought they were running to get away from you.
They want their peacefulness by being alone someday, but you thought they were trying to ignore you.
They never express their feelings to begin with, but you thought they don’t feel anything .
They worried about moving forward in the bigger world, but you thought they were just comfortably stuck in the present.
They lost to their words, but you thought they didn’t have anything worth saying.
They got awkward sometimes, but you thought they were getting uncomfortable around you.
They act differently according to the person they are with, but you thought they were pretending to be someone else.
What you never really thought is what you see, hear and think sometimes not what really happening at all.
Because it will make make you blind from the truth.
Do you ever feeling stress and confuse to make a decision in your life?
You just sitting there,
in front of computer
feeling lose either you want to pursue study in business or law.
You just staring there,
in the dark
when the world is sleeping
Undecided either you should keep fighting or call it quit already.
With everything in your life. Really.
If so, you really should know this.
If you have no idea what your true choice between two option that you have, make sure to always choose the second one. After all, if you really want your first option, the second will never be an option.
Heart know what hearts want. Even if brain always arguing.