She say I love you. And he replied with I love you ‘too’.
So that a start. Of an ‘us’ for them.
Everything so right but yet it’s feel so wrong.
Like a normal couple, they have their up and down.
So she thought everything exactly how it’s supposed to be.
That why. She fight for him.
Each and every time.
He also fight. But instead FOR her, he fight WITH her.
Yet she still doesn’t realize the difference.
He treats her like sh*t. And she blame herself.
For not being ‘good’ enough.
When in reality, she never have to be good.
Because she was enough.
If only, she been with her real ‘person’.
Instead, she been trapped in unrealistic love,
that being show by unrealistic man,
that doesn’t know the real meaning of love.
How can him? when the word ‘I love you’ that he claim is only another word of reciprocation.
I don’t think i care much about how people view me. Appearance wise. How can I?
What the point?
If I myself doesn’t see who I like to see in me. Inner wise.
Those people will only be another ‘me’ anyway.
They will see what i see everyday in the mirror.
They will only be another additional set of my eyes.
Eyes that saw every little flaws i have.
Eyes that searching for imperfections to hide.
Eyes that hold judgment for being who i am.
So isn’t it useless? To worry about what they might think when they see me?
While other people opinion did matter sometimes, it’s mean nothing if my own opinion about myself has been cloud by all the insecurities i been fighting with. N still am.
Sometimes we hate ourselves for who we are. For who we became. Or for who we cannot be.
So what that said about us as a person for feeling that way?
Does that make us pathetic?
Or does that make us worthless?
No it doesn’t.
Feeling something negative or feeling anything at all. really. doesn’t make us anything. Feeling is just that. Only a feeling. It doesn’t define who we really are.
In fact sometimes it does make us better.
It teach us how to love ourselves.
How to accept the fact that not everything is beyond our control.
Basically it make us human.
So don’t beat yourself too hard.
You just being you. N that not a weakness. In fact it’s a strength, because believe it or not there only one you in this world.
You share your opinion.
You ask about your curiosity.
You voice your thought.
People disagree with your opinion.
People question your curiosity.
People object your thought.
You used “freedom of speech” as an excuse to justify yourself.
You forgot to realize that, it true freedom of speech is everyone right. But it doesn’t mean that your side of speech is always right.
You know how when we doing something but we fail and someone will tell us ‘it doesn’t matter, you can try again tomorrow’ right?
In that situation, it supposed to motivate us to never give up.
But do you think that mindset doesn’t have any negative impacts at all?
If you think so, you totally mistaken.
Here I tell you what. For certain people, that words up to no goods. Do you know why? Because they might take it as an excuse to slack off. To not doing the best they could. They will think ‘Oh, it’s ok. I can still do my best tomorrow’.
You get what I mean right?
True, tomorrow will always came either you like it or not. But do you know for sure that you still here to welcome it?
So here some advice. If you want to do something, do the best you could. That might be the only chance you have.
They ask how to move on,
He say doing this. She say doing that.
What I have to say?
Wanna know the reason as why you stuck in the past?
No. Not because of ‘it hurting too much’ bullsh*t.
And definitely not because of ‘ I’m too weak to face all of this right now’ nonsense either.
Neither are ‘ heeling take time’ concept that everyone seem to believe.
The reason you seems so oblivious of is you. Yourself.
Unknowingly, you blaming yourself right?
Wondering what you did wrong to subject yourself to such a heartbreak.
Or maybe even thinking that your imperfections is the cause of all the disaster that happen to you in your life.
Guess what honey? You completely wrong!! They ain’t.
Life happen. It’s completely out of anyone control. Change your plan as you might, if universe have another plan set for you, even if you don’t like that plan, it’s still gonna happen.
So how about start forgiving yourself. Forgive your imperfections. Forgive yourself for not being able to be who you dream yourself to be. Forgive yourself for not being able to achieve everyone expectations of you.
Let go all the self blaming. Let go of all the self doubt. Just let go. Whatever that holding you up from moving forward, let it go. And you might be surprised how good that make you feel.
When you angry with your parent because they give you advice for your own good,
Somewhere in this world, someone that lose their parent wish they still have one.
When you complain because your parent forget to bought your favourite food,
Somewhere in this world, someone have to fasting all day because they doesn’t have food to eat at all.
When you think life don’t treat you fair just because you can’t get your dream car to show off unlike your friends,
Somewhere in this world, someone have to walking miles in the heat just to buy groceries.
And maybe when you stop counting what you don’t have and start appreciate what you already got, you will see how lucky you already are.
Sometimes stop trying is not a bad things.
It good sometime to stop trying to care when they don’t even took their time long enough to appreciate it.
It also good to stop trying to make effort to spare their feeling when they don’t even spare a second to apologize for hurting you.
It also a good thing to stop trying to force a conversation that you clearly know one side when we all know relationship involved both sides to make it work.
N sometime it good to just stop trying for others and start trying for ourselves.