Sad truth of growing up

She used to be some quiet girl that love and keep loving. Without a single drop of hatred.
Someone that found beauty in everyone and everything.
A girl soo pure that she might as well think everyone else as pure as herself with no bad blood in their body.
Some girl that trusting without thinking. And accepting without judgment.
She used to be all of that. Maybe even more.
But somehow she’s gone.
As day turn into months, and months pass by, replacing by years,
She saw how this world truly function.
The ugly truth that being console by her innocent all this year.
The sad reality of people in it.
So she make a choice that she never think she need to. Up until that moment.
She changes herself. To fit in.
Eventho she doesn’t have to.
As she doesn’t need anyone validation to be ‘her‘. Unfortunately, nobody tell her that.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Another ‘me’

I don’t think i care much about how people view me. Appearance wise. How can I?
What the point?
If I myself doesn’t see who I like to see in me. Inner wise.
Those people will only be another ‘me’ anyway.
They will see what i see everyday in the mirror.
They will only be another additional set of my eyes.
Eyes that saw every little flaws i have.
Eyes that searching for imperfections to hide.
Eyes that hold judgment for being who i am.
So isn’t it useless? To worry about what they might think when they see me?

While other people opinion did matter sometimes, it’s mean nothing if my own opinion about myself has been cloud by all the insecurities i been fighting with. N still am.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Miserable Life

Life is tough isn’t it?
Sometime you can handle it just fine. Other time? Not so much.
Invited lot of unwanted feeling and emotion.
Which make you doubt what you even doing.
Or worse, think that you have unpleasant life that will never make you happy unlike others.
But do you know? That never true.
Yes you might having a bad day every now and then. And yes you have to work harder to improve that and be the better version of yourself when that happen, but it doesn’t mean you have a miserable life. It’s just mean, that what life supposed to be.
Living life to the fullest doesn’t always have to be about all the big deal that happen to you, it’s can also be about embracing and appreciate all the smallest things that brings you joys.
If the smallest thing such as the thought of having coffee every morning make you smile, or perhaps something like the sound of the rain can automatically soothing you, i definitely can guarantee you this ; you already living a life you should be proud of.
Big moment was great when it’s comes, but those small moment is what give life more meaning and make life worth living.
So please realize that. Your life never can be miserable. It all about what you decide to think and believe. After all our mind is a very powerful things. It can either help you or destroy you. It’s all in your control. So choose wisely.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Never a priority

Ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Like you doesn’t seem to get anything right.
And everything you did doesn’t really matter. Because at the end of the day, you will mess that up anyway.
So it keep nagging you everytime.
Stuck like that little pieces of gums under your shoes which you having difficulty to get rid of.
That probably because it’s really is. The self doubt i mean.
I think it will always stay with every one of us. Literally.
We obviously will never constantly feel that every second of the day. But it definitely will make an appearance every now and then.
So what I about to say might be helpful.
If we only give our attention to that gums only when it stuck and we try to get rid of, who say we can’t do the same when we feel all of that things about ourselves?
If the ‘struggle’ of removing the gums is the ONLY thing that requires our attention, that mean it’s never really a priority to us.
Likewise. If the self doubt only appear every now and then, and you only focus on it only at ‘that moment’, why you’re soo worry there’s something wrong with you? It’s really nothing to worry about. That feeling will comes and go as it’s please either we like it or not, but don’t give them power to corrupt your mind. The only thing you need to worry about is  HOW to avoid making them as your priority in life.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Relax!!

You think you’re confident enough. However when time comes and you have to facing your audience, you’re shaking.

You think you’re brave enough to face any challenges. But when what you fear the most come knocking, you start to hide away.

You think you’re patient enough to keep waiting. However when one by one people passing by, you start questioning why it took so long.

You think you’re happy enough with all of your achievement. But when you see others become more successful, you create another goal to achieve.

You think you’re intelligent enough to solve any problem. However when some issues arises for you to handle, you’re can’t find any solution to fix it.

You know what?you over think!!
So what you say if you just stop for a second and just live in the moment. Go with the flow and have faith that life will turn out the way it supposed to be. Not the way you want it to be.

Let life do their magic. Nothing can go wrong with it in the hand of fate.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

What It’s Takes

Somehow..
It take us losing someone
That make us realize the importance of loving dearly.
It take us giving up
That make us realize the importance of fighting back.
It take someone betrayal
That make us realize the importance of loyalty.
It take us hurting badly
That make us realize the importance of healing slowly.
And somehow
It take us to experiences all of that bad thing
That make us start appreciate the goods even more.
Just because it’s bad. Doesn’t mean it useless.
So, stop hating or regret every bad thing that ever happen to you.
Only because they’re exist, that you can see the beauty of good thing.
So being thankful for everything even it was unpleasant to being though.
It a lesson. Not some unfairness to make your life miserable.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Self Conscious

Looking in the mirror,
Saw your own reflection,
And having a weird feeling about it.
It’s normal isn’t it? Or not? I think it is.
At certain point in life, I guess everyone will always found something they dislike about themselves.
It didn’t help either when people around them keep throwing a dirty look. Judging their appearance and stuff.
That why someone once say ‘the hardest thing to do is loving yourself’. True indeed.
But here a secret you need to know to make it easier ; You don’t need to feel self conscious about yourself. Especially not because of people. Wanna know why? Here I tell you. They also secretly struggle with themselves.
Some day they also hate how they look.
Other day they also try soo hard to look good for other.
It totally normal. Feeling self conscious is normal. Because You’re NORMAL.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Freedom of Speech

You share your opinion.
You ask about your curiosity.
You voice your thought.
And…

People disagree with your opinion.
People question your curiosity.
People object your thought.
So…

You used “freedom of speech” as an excuse to justify yourself.
Unfortunately…

You forgot to realize that, it true freedom of speech is everyone right. But it doesn’t mean that your side of speech is always right.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

No it’s not OK

You know how when we doing something but we fail and someone will tell us ‘it doesn’t matter, you can try again tomorrow’ right?
In that situation, it supposed to motivate us to never give up.
But do you think that mindset doesn’t have any negative impacts at all?
If you think so, you totally mistaken.
Here I tell you what. For certain people, that words up to no goods. Do you know why? Because they might take it as an excuse to slack off. To not doing the best they could. They will think ‘Oh, it’s ok. I can still do my best tomorrow’.
You get what I mean right?
True, tomorrow will always came either you like it or not. But do you know for sure that you still here to welcome it?

So here some advice. If you want to do something, do the best you could. That might be the only chance you have.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Take Your Time

All of us have a dream right?
In order to achieve this dream, some of us working their butt of like there’s no tomorrow.
Some doesn’t even care to spare 5 minutes of their time to have a meal.
Others, keep rushing to finish their work that they completely forgot to sleep.
In a way, it’s good to be passion towards your goals.
But I keep wondering what the point  of working too hard and getting sick later on? Is it worth it?
Even when you succeed in achieving what you aim for, do you really think you can enjoy your victory while being unhealthy? Probably not.
So please please please! Take care of yourself.
Life is all about balance. Working hard? That great. But don’t do that while ignoring yourself. Stay safe.
There more unexpected joy waiting for you to embrace.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra