For the first time in a long time,
I realize that I don’t need you with me.
I just want you to be there for me whenever I need someone.
For the first time in my life,
I realize it’s never me that doesn’t want to let you go.
It’s just you who always decided to show up whenever I almost forget your existence in my life.
And for the first time since I know you,
I realize I don’t have to be better so that you can see me the way I want you to see me,
I just need to see my worth the way I deserve. Only then, I will be better.
Not for you. But for myself and everyone that truly sees me before I even did.
So for the first and final time hopefully,
I decided I will live only for myself. No one else. And definitely not for you.
Because only then, I can find my peace in this cruel world.
I realize.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Tag: Grateful
‘Her’. More than anything else
Under the moonlight,
Stood a girl in a ‘princess’ like dress.
Completely still as people keep their gaze on her.
So she started lowering her head in embarrassment.
While thinking to herself, ‘I know I don’t fit in no matter how I dress. How foolish I can be to think otherwise.’
And with that thought corrupting her head, she stays away from everyone in disappointment.
Little does she know,
Everyone looked in amazement.
Not in judgement.
Amazement on how brave she carries herself alone without so much effort.
Amazement on how breathtakingly shining she looks among the crowd even with all of her little flaws here and there.
And amazement on who she is as a person. As herself. No one else.
If only her head didn’t cloud with all of the invalidation she has towards herself.
She might see that she doesn’t need to ‘fit in’.
She just needs to only be ‘her’ more than anything else.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Miserable Life
Life is tough isn’t it?
Sometimes you can handle it just fine. Other times? Not so much.
Invited a lot of unwanted feelings and emotions.
Which makes you doubt what you are even doing.
Or worse, think that you have an unpleasant life that will never make you happy unlike others.
But do you know? That was never true.
Yes you might have a bad day every now and then. And yes you have to work harder to improve that and be the better version of yourself when that happens, but it doesn’t mean you have a miserable life. It just means what life is supposed to be.
Living life to the fullest doesn’t always have to be about all the big deal that happens to you, it can also be about embracing and appreciating all the smallest things that bring you joy.
If the smallest thing such as the thought of having coffee every morning makes you smile, or perhaps something like the sound of the rain can automatically soothe you, I definitely can guarantee you this ; you are already living a life you should be proud of.
Big moment was great when it came, but those small moments are what give life more meaning and make life worth living.
So please realize that. Your life never can be miserable. It is all about what you decide to think and believe. After all, our mind is a very powerful thing. It can either help you or destroy you. It’s all in your control. So choose wisely.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Relax!!
You think you’re confident enough. However when time comes and you have to face your audience, you’re shaking.
You think you’re brave enough to face any challenges. But when what you fear the most comes knocking, you start to hide away.
You think you’re patient enough to keep waiting. However when one by one people pass by, you start questioning why it took so long.
You think you’re happy enough with all of your achievements. But when you see others become more successful, you create another goal to achieve.
You think you’re intelligent enough to solve any problem. However when some issues arise for you to handle, you can’t find any solution to fix it.
You know what?you overthink!!
So what you say if you just stop for a second and just live in the moment. Go with the flow and have faith that life will turn out the way it is supposed to be. Not the way you want it to be.
Let life do their magic. Nothing can go wrong in the hand of fate.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
What It’s Takes
Somehow..
It take us losing someone
That makes us realize the importance of loving dearly.
It take us giving up
That makes us realize the importance of fighting back.
It take someone betrayal
That makes us realize the importance of loyalty.
It take us hurting badly
That makes us realize the importance of healing slowly.
And somehow
It take us to experiences all of that bad thing
That makes us start to appreciate the goods even more.
Just because it’s bad. Doesn’t mean it’s useless.
So, stop hating or regret every bad thing that ever happens to you.
Only because they exist, that you can see the beauty of good things.
So being thankful for everything even it was unpleasant to be though.
It’s a lesson. Not some unfairness to make your life miserable.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Does it?
Sometimes we hate ourselves for who we are. For who we became. Or for who we cannot be.
So what that said about us as a person for feeling that way?
Does that make us pathetic?
Or does that make us worthless?
No it doesn’t.
Feeling something negative or feeling anything at all. really. doesn’t make us anything. Feeling is just that. Only a feeling. It doesn’t define who we really are.
In fact sometimes it does make us better.
It teaches us how to love ourselves.
How to accept the fact that not everything is beyond our control.
Basically it makes us human.
So don’t beat yourself too hard.
You just being you. And that is not a weakness. In fact it’s a strength, because believe it or not there is only one you in this world.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Family
What common in family;
Saying something awful to the parents?
‘It’s not a big deal. They understand’
Doing something hurtful to our family member?
‘They will be fine. No worries’
Start a fight over something dumb?
‘No need to apologize. They will forgive us anyway’
This is where our mindset about family messes up big time I tell you.
We thought as a family member, we can do as we pleased and they will always accept us no matter what. But we completely forgot that they are still human beings. With feeling and emotion.
Being a ‘family’ doesn’t give us a free pass to treat them to our heart’s content. It only gives us a free ticket to love them unconditionally.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Tomorrow’s still an Option
Maybe now you’re hurt. But nobody says tomorrow you won’t heal.
Maybe now you’re scared. But nobody says tomorrow you can’t be brave.
Maybe now you’re sad. But nobody says tomorrow you won’t find your happiness.
Maybe now you’re struggling. But nobody says tomorrow it can’t become much easier.
Maybe now you’re alone. But nobody says tomorrow someone won’t appear in your life.
And maybe now what you really need to do is believe that everything will be alright when the time is right.
After all, everything will be alright in the end. And if everything’s not alright, it’s not the end.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Grateful Work Wonder
When you angry with your parent because they give you advice for your own good,
Somewhere in this world, someone that loses their parents wishes they still have one.
When you complain because your parent forget to bought your favourite food,
Somewhere in this world, someone has to fast all day because they don’t have food to eat at all.
When you think life don’t treat you fair just because you can’t get your dream car to show off unlike your friends,
Somewhere in this world, someone has to walk miles in the heat just to buy groceries.
And maybe when you stop counting what you don’t have and start appreciating what you already got, you will see how lucky you already are.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
“Stop Trying” not entirely a bad thing
Sometimes ‘stop trying’ is not a bad thing.
It’s good sometimes to stop trying to care when they don’t even take their time long enough to appreciate it.
It is also good to stop trying to make an effort to spare their feelings when they don’t even spare a second to apologize for hurting you.
It is also a good thing to stop trying to force a conversation that you clearly know one side when we all know relationships involve both sides to make it work.
And sometime it is good to just stop trying for others and start trying for ourselves.
Sincerely me,
Az.Ra
Sincerely Me 