Never a priority

Ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Like you doesn’t seem to get anything right.
And everything you did doesn’t really matter. Because at the end of the day, you will mess that up anyway.
So it keep nagging you everytime.
Stuck like that little pieces of gums under your shoes which you having difficulty to get rid of.
That probably because it’s really is. The self doubt i mean.
I think it will always stay with every one of us. Literally.
We obviously will never constantly feel that every second of the day. But it definitely will make an appearance every now and then.
So what I about to say might be helpful.
If we only give our attention to that gums only when it stuck and we try to get rid of, who say we can’t do the same when we feel all of that things about ourselves?
If the ‘struggle’ of removing the gums is the ONLY thing that requires our attention, that mean it’s never really a priority to us.
Likewise. If the self doubt only appear every now and then, and you only focus on it only at ‘that moment’, why you’re soo worry there’s something wrong with you? It’s really nothing to worry about. That feeling will comes and go as it’s please either we like it or not, but don’t give them power to corrupt your mind. The only thing you need to worry about is  HOW to avoid making them as your priority in life.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

What It’s Takes

Somehow..
It take us losing someone
That make us realize the importance of loving dearly.
It take us giving up
That make us realize the importance of fighting back.
It take someone betrayal
That make us realize the importance of loyalty.
It take us hurting badly
That make us realize the importance of healing slowly.
And somehow
It take us to experiences all of that bad thing
That make us start appreciate the goods even more.
Just because it’s bad. Doesn’t mean it useless.
So, stop hating or regret every bad thing that ever happen to you.
Only because they’re exist, that you can see the beauty of good thing.
So being thankful for everything even it was unpleasant to being though.
It a lesson. Not some unfairness to make your life miserable.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Self Conscious

Looking in the mirror,
Saw your own reflection,
And having a weird feeling about it.
It’s normal isn’t it? Or not? I think it is.
At certain point in life, I guess everyone will always found something they dislike about themselves.
It didn’t help either when people around them keep throwing a dirty look. Judging their appearance and stuff.
That why someone once say ‘the hardest thing to do is loving yourself’. True indeed.
But here a secret you need to know to make it easier ; You don’t need to feel self conscious about yourself. Especially not because of people. Wanna know why? Here I tell you. They also secretly struggle with themselves.
Some day they also hate how they look.
Other day they also try soo hard to look good for other.
It totally normal. Feeling self conscious is normal. Because You’re NORMAL.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

For Once I Wish…

They always asking me
“Are you okay”
I wish for once they ask ‘what’s wrong’ instead.

They keep saying
“You can do it”
For once I wish they say they will help instead.

They always telling me
“Never give up”
I wish for once they told me to take a rest instead.

They keep wondering
“What wrong with her”
For once I wish they wondering ‘why she acting like that’ instead.

For once. Just for once. Can you not? Interpret things just the way you saw it I mean. It nice sometimes to look beneath the surface and see what else you can found. Someone might need that from you.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Does it?

Sometimes we hate ourselves for who we are. For who we became. Or for who we cannot be.
So what that said about us as a person for feeling that way?
Does that make us pathetic?
Or does that make us worthless?

No it doesn’t.

Feeling something negative or feeling anything at all. really. doesn’t make us anything. Feeling is just that. Only a feeling. It doesn’t define who we really are.
In fact sometimes it does make us better.
It teach us how to love ourselves.
How to accept the fact that not everything is beyond our control.
Basically it make us human.
So don’t beat yourself too hard.
You just being you. N that not a weakness. In fact it’s a strength, because believe it or not there only one you in this world.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Moving Forward

They ask how to move on,
He say doing this. She say doing that.
What I have to say?
Forgive yourself.
Wanna know the reason as why you stuck in the past?
No. Not because of ‘it hurting too much’ bullsh*t.
And definitely not because of ‘ I’m too weak to face all of this right now’ nonsense either.
Neither are ‘ heeling take time’ concept that everyone seem to believe.
You are.
The reason you seems so oblivious of is you. Yourself.
Unknowingly, you blaming yourself right?
Wondering what you did wrong to subject yourself to such a heartbreak.
Or maybe even thinking that your imperfections is the cause of all the disaster that happen to you in your life.
Guess what honey? You completely wrong!! They ain’t.
Life happen. It’s completely out of anyone control. Change your plan as you might, if universe have another plan set for you, even if you don’t like that plan, it’s still gonna happen.
So how about start forgiving yourself. Forgive your imperfections. Forgive yourself for not being able to be who you dream yourself to be. Forgive yourself for not being able to achieve everyone expectations of you.
Let go all the self blaming. Let go of all the self doubt. Just let go. Whatever that holding you up from moving forward, let it go. And you might be surprised how good that make you feel.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Be Real!!

Some people….
“Why you like this stuff!” or “Why you dislike that stuff?”
“Why you eating this!” or “Why you don’t eating that?”
“Why you wearing this!” or “Why you don’t wearing that?”

Helloooo….
Do you think they were you or what?
You can’t expect people to like what you like and hate what you hate.
Get real here. They ain’t you. They’ve their own person. They can do whatever they want. No need to point it out if what they did didn’t tickle your fancy. 
N not everything you thought need to being said aloud.
It might hard enough for them to struggle with their own choice. They don’t need you to add the pressure.
Stop being so full of yourself. Get over it.
We’re different for a reason.
Different doesn’t make us weird. Different make us whole. You can’t expect to complete a puzzle with the same piece every time do you?

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Reality of Love

Love.
They say love is joy.
They think love is happiness.
They told you love supposed to be beautiful.
But does it really?
In fairytale..maybe.
Yes, true love is something beautiful to experiences. Something that precious to being through.
But it not always have to be.
When it hurting you, when it getting difficult,
Doesn’t meant it’s not real.
Because love itself is life.
So just like our life that not always beautiful and dandy, so do love.
Sometimes you getting hurt.
Others time you feel over the moon.
It supposed to.
That how you learn. That how you grow.
That how universe work. After all it not up to us to decide what happen next. Its out of human control.
So stop being afraid you might getting hurt because of it. Instead, start to embrace it while you can.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

Family

What common in family;
Saying something awful to the parents?
‘ It’s not a big deal. They understand ‘
Doing something hurtful to our family member?
‘ They will be fine. No worries ‘
Start a fight over something dumb?
‘ No need to apologize. They will forgive us anyway ‘
This is where our mindset about family mess up big time I tell you.
We thought as a family member, we can do as we pleased and they will always accept us no matter what. But we completely forgot  that they still a human being. With feeling and emotion.
Being a ‘family’ doesn’t give us free pass to treat them as our heart content. It only give us free ticket to love them unconditionally.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

You Doing Great

It hard isn’t it?
To live in society that always being prejudice and judgmental.
To always being conscious every two second of what they have in store for you when you make a mistakes.
To take all the bad words that being spat out from their mouth.
To saw the hate in their eyes for you when they think you doing something wrong.
As if they have a right to criticize and judging us for who we used to be.
As if they’ve perfect and haven’t done anything wrong in their life.
As if they’ve much more better than anyone else.
It’s hard isn’t it?
I know. But keep going.
The reasons you exist in this world not to pleased them or to meet their expectations. You still breathing until now not because of them. They doesn’t even have any significant in your life if you think about it. So keep going. Don’t give them a chance to make a choice for you. As long as you know who you are. Who you want to be. Or what you’re doing. I will say you already achieved more than what they wish for.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra