I don’t think i care much about how people view me. Appearance wise. How can I?
What the point?
If I myself doesn’t see who I like to see in me. Inner wise.
Those people will only be another ‘me’ anyway.
They will see what i see everyday in the mirror.
They will only be another additional set of my eyes.
Eyes that saw every little flaws i have.
Eyes that searching for imperfections to hide.
Eyes that hold judgment for being who i am.
So isn’t it useless? To worry about what they might think when they see me?
While other people opinion did matter sometimes, it’s mean nothing if my own opinion about myself has been cloud by all the insecurities i been fighting with. N still am.
Sometimes we hate ourselves for who we are. For who we became. Or for who we cannot be.
So what that said about us as a person for feeling that way?
Does that make us pathetic?
Or does that make us worthless?
No it doesn’t.
Feeling something negative or feeling anything at all. really. doesn’t make us anything. Feeling is just that. Only a feeling. It doesn’t define who we really are.
In fact sometimes it does make us better.
It teach us how to love ourselves.
How to accept the fact that not everything is beyond our control.
Basically it make us human.
So don’t beat yourself too hard.
You just being you. N that not a weakness. In fact it’s a strength, because believe it or not there only one you in this world.
You share your opinion.
You ask about your curiosity.
You voice your thought.
People disagree with your opinion.
People question your curiosity.
People object your thought.
You used “freedom of speech” as an excuse to justify yourself.
You forgot to realize that, it true freedom of speech is everyone right. But it doesn’t mean that your side of speech is always right.
“Why you like this stuff!” or “Why you dislike that stuff?”
“Why you eating this!” or “Why you don’t eating that?”
“Why you wearing this!” or “Why you don’t wearing that?”
Do you think they were you or what?
You can’t expect people to like what you like and hate what you hate.
Get real here. They ain’t you. They’ve their own person. They can do whatever they want. No need to point it out if what they did didn’t tickle your fancy.
N not everything you thought need to being said aloud.
It might hard enough for them to struggle with their own choice. They don’t need you to add the pressure.
Stop being so full of yourself. Get over it.
We’re different for a reason.
Different doesn’t make us weird. Different make us whole. You can’t expect to complete a puzzle with the same piece every time do you?
It hard isn’t it?
To live in society that always being prejudice and judgmental.
To always being conscious every two second of what they have in store for you when you make a mistakes.
To take all the bad words that being spat out from their mouth.
To saw the hate in their eyes for you when they think you doing something wrong.
As if they have a right to criticize and judging us for who we used to be.
As if they’ve perfect and haven’t done anything wrong in their life.
As if they’ve much more better than anyone else.
It’s hard isn’t it?
I know. But keep going.
The reasons you exist in this world not to pleased them or to meet their expectations. You still breathing until now not because of them. They doesn’t even have any significant in your life if you think about it. So keep going. Don’t give them a chance to make a choice for you. As long as you know who you are. Who you want to be. Or what you’re doing. I will say you already achieved more than what they wish for.
They were scared of expectation so they shut you down, but you thought they were running to get away from you.
They want their peacefulness by being alone someday, but you thought they were trying to ignore you.
They never express their feelings to begin with, but you thought they don’t feel anything .
They worried about moving forward in the bigger world, but you thought they were just comfortably stuck in the present.
They lost to their words, but you thought they didn’t have anything worth saying.
They got awkward sometimes, but you thought they were getting uncomfortable around you.
They act differently according to the person they are with, but you thought they were pretending to be someone else.
What you never really thought is what you see, hear and think sometimes not what really happening at all.
Because it will make make you blind from the truth.
When you angry with your parent because they give you advice for your own good,
Somewhere in this world, someone that lose their parent wish they still have one.
When you complain because your parent forget to bought your favourite food,
Somewhere in this world, someone have to fasting all day because they doesn’t have food to eat at all.
When you think life don’t treat you fair just because you can’t get your dream car to show off unlike your friends,
Somewhere in this world, someone have to walking miles in the heat just to buy groceries.
And maybe when you stop counting what you don’t have and start appreciate what you already got, you will see how lucky you already are.
When they say ‘stay strong’, doesn’t mean you’re weak.
When they say ‘be brave’, doesn’t mean you’re a coward.
When they say ‘stay happy’, doesn’t mean you’re depressed.
When they say ‘be nice’, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
Every meaning behind their word doesn’t matter. What really matter is how you decide to translate it for yourself.
You can see it as a bad thing and you will see yourself in negative light. Or you can view it in positive way possible and feel good about yourself.
It all in our hand. That what make life better. You’re the boss. Your life. Your choice.
Sometimes stop trying is not a bad things.
It good sometime to stop trying to care when they don’t even took their time long enough to appreciate it.
It also good to stop trying to make effort to spare their feeling when they don’t even spare a second to apologize for hurting you.
It also a good thing to stop trying to force a conversation that you clearly know one side when we all know relationship involved both sides to make it work.
N sometime it good to just stop trying for others and start trying for ourselves.